Love is Like the Weather

I talk to many people about their love lives. I have learned that people frequently feel afraid and cannot see any benefits that romantic turbulence might bring. Often, they feel like it will never be ok again. After listening for a while, I often start talking about the weather. Because love is like the weather. Hang with me. Let’s talk about it.

Love and life are wild and untamed experiences. Some days are sunny, others rainy and dreary. Drought can be scary. And there are times when we face storms that threaten our way of life.  Sometimes those storms land, and we need to change our way and repair the damage.

We are, however, in control of our climate. We can choose to live in a different location. OR We can build better shelters to weather the heat, frigid temperatures, or monsoon-like storms; moreover, we can learn to be self-confident enough to forge our own path to an entirely new place if we want or need to.

The earlier in life we learn to manage the changes that come with love, the happier we can be. Here are three takeaways for managing your climate.

1. Ambiguity is ok.  We don’t need to have absolute certainty about everything or fear the unknown all the time. Sometimes, pop-up rain showers are beautiful. Have confidence that you will see the rainbow.

   
   

2. Accept conflict. You build your relationship to shelter the storms. By that, I mean you learn to address your conflicts productively. We say what we mean and do what we say. There is no name-calling or unresolvable power struggles. Accept that you need conflict to grow as an individual and as a couple.

   
   

3. Integrity needs to be intentional every day. Your integrity represents your trust and faith in the structure you build.  If you don’t believe your partner can be trusted, your climate is turbulent and can only be made safe once repairs are made. It’s your partner's responsibility to make sure they are trustworthy. And it’s also your responsibility to ensure that you are trusted to do the right thing.

   
   

Every love story has ups and downs, or it wouldn’t be much of a story.  Learning to live with the ups and downs is called growth. We can learn to manage our lives so we can celebrate all the seasons as they come along. So love, like the weather, changes with the seasons, and even every year is not the same. This year, our daffodils, tulips, and redbud tree bloomed in March, and a frost came. All the flowers died. Yet the plant still lived. “Next year,” we say. 

Love is not always hot and sunny. And it can take years to build or rebuild your climate-controlled shelter. I know a lot of people who believe romance is (or should be) hot passion all the time; they are often taken aback when I say that love is like the weather.  They need time to soak on it.  So, I invite you to soak on the idea. What’s your perception of love and the weather? What weather word would you use to describe your love right now? It's ok. It will change in a little while.

for a little inspiration: Stormy Weather, sung by Etta James. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et7SReenr_s

HMKcoaching.com, all rights reserved 2026. This article was written by a human. Your favorite AI has never loved anyone, but I have.