AI vs. Humans: Who Should You Ask About Love?

hellomskari
Oct 10
3 min read

Updated: Oct 23

It's starting to happen for me. It’s a question that people often ask me or sometimes tell me. They say, "I asked AI, and it said, (Fill in the blank). Is that right? Or that sounds spot on to me." This is part of a regular conversation that I have with all kinds of people.

Client = “So, I just ask AI everything about dating or my relationship?”

Me = “Whoa. Tell me more. Are we talking general advice or heart-on-the-line drama?”

Client = “Uh… both? I just want clarity.”

Here’s the deal:

AI is excellent for:

Ideas that include fun date-night suggestions, text conversation starters, and gift inspiration.
Patterns like attachment styles, common communication pitfalls, and research-backed tips.
Quick, judgment-free perspective when you need a reality check. But only the fast stuff, anything with a backstory longer than a paragraph belongs to humans.

Humans are irreplaceable for:

Emotional nuance: feelings, unspoken tension, messy history.
Boundaries and tough decisions: should you stay, walk away, or confront?
Empathy, accountability, conflict, and the “reading between the lines” magic.

Client = “So AI is a flashlight… humans are…?”

Me = “Humans are guides and coaches. They walk the path beside you, not just illuminate it. And yes, some of the path is rocky, emotional, and downright exhausting.”

Client = “Can’t AI just replace that?”

Me = “Sure, if you're looking for a quick bullet list of conversation hacks. But if emotions are high, history is messy, or someone’s feelings are fragile? Pick a human. Always.”

Client = “Okay, got it. Quick stuff from AI, deep stuff from humans.”

Me = Exactly. Think of it as teamwork: the machine sparks ideas, the human translates your heart. Together, you make more intelligent choices.

The Reality Check

Recent studies reveal that a significant number of individuals are turning to AI for relationship advice:

28% of Americans have engaged in an intimate or romantic relationship with an AI chatbot (newsweek.com).
70% of Brits rely on AI and social media for advice over their own instincts, especially in love, finances, and career decisions (thesun.co.uk).
41% of Gen Z adults in the U.S. have used AI to navigate romantic relationships, particularly for composing breakup texts, apologies, or managing conflict (nypost.com).

These statistics underscore a growing trend of seeking AI assistance in personal matters. However, experts* caution against over-reliance on AI for emotional guidance.

Takeaway: The Human Element Matters

AI can be a helpful tool for generating ideas and providing quick answers. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, emotions, history, and personal values, human connection is irreplaceable. Use AI for brainstorming or neutral perspectives, but for deep emotional support, nuanced understanding, and accountability, turn to a trusted human.

Remember, love is complex and requires empathy, understanding, and sometimes, a little tough love. These qualities that AI is still far from mastering. Your favorite AI has never loved anyone. But your human has. Connect with people; there is only genuine care from a human.

*Expert Insights

Mental health professionals and relationship experts emphasize the limitations of AI in providing emotional support:

Dr. Paul Bradley, a psychotherapist, warns that AI lacks the depth and emotional context necessary for effective therapy, potentially leading to cognitive distortions and delayed interventions.
Claire Murdoch, NHS England’s mental health director, highlights the dangers of using AI chatbots as substitutes for therapy, especially among young people, stating that chatbots can offer misleading, harmful advice and reinforce delusional thinking.
Sherry Turkle, a professor at MIT, cautions against developing emotional attachments to AI companions, noting that while they may simulate empathy, they cannot honestly care for you.

These experts stress that while AI can be a helpful tool for generating ideas and providing quick answers, it cannot replace the nuanced understanding and emotional support offered by human connection.